July 19 2023
Nothing you want with all your heart comes easy. It comes with dedication, love, loss, heartache, a change in perspective and priorities, and a new found respect for just how strong you really are.
Five years ago I began a journey that was unexpected, painful, gut wrenching and life changing. I quit on myself more than once. I got angry, and there were times I would drop to a pile on the floor and cry for hours. I would sit out on the deck and search the skies asking ‘why’...knowing I wasn't going to get an answer. I went to bed tired and I woke up tired. My budget was so tight at times I would juggle what bills got paid and what I could afford to buy at the grocery store. But I always made sure my deer had treats, my moose had apples and my squirrels had walnuts.
It is because the wildlife holds such a deep bond in my heart that I am selling my home in one of the worst economies to build a little house on a hill so I can live out my last chapter peacefully among them.
The original plan last year allowed for building a 3000 square foot home with beautiful, unique features and pristine landscaping. That vision was based off the anticipated healthy sales price of my home when we listed last year. Since then, political decisions have crushed the economy and my well thought out dream was cut in half. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions and then came back full circle to what I was really trying to achieve. It wasn't about another big beautiful house.
It was about peace.
After moving to Idaho, the pain in my heart eased as I spent more and more time with the wildlife. Moose and deer in particular.
A year and a half of my life has been spent trying to sell my home, and then having to work up a revised financial plan off a revised sale price, so I can build a smaller version of that little house on the hill. And now I can finally say….I’m on my way to the next chapter.
My home has sold :)
Moving forward with the new build I have dialed back the dream…taken out the frills, reset my priorities, and redesigned a new home.
What I have learned on this journey is to stay focused on the end game. The ‘peace’ my heart is chasing has nothing to do with the size of a house….and everything to do with how I feel when my feet hit the dirt on that property…and my heart takes in all of mother natures perfection. I smile…..a lot……the deer come out from the bushes to greet me… the chipmunks criss cross the ground in front of me as I walk, and the only noise comes from the birds chirping so contently in all the trees that surround the property.
I used to joke that I’d be happy on that hill living in a teepee if I had to….and when the economy tanked it felt like God was calling my bluff. Well played sir. It was then that I realized I actually do need more than just a teepee. I need a well for running water…(that’s 50K) propane tank for gas..(another 7K)…30K for plans and permits, and 18K to clear out the build site and prep. Thats almost 100K before I even pour a foundation. Thankfully the housing market rebounded just enough this year and I am able to build a 2000 square foot teepee complete with running water, gas, electric and even internet…lol.
I had only two requests for my contractor……floor to ceiling windows to take in the 360 degree view and a waterfall/pond so the critters can keep cool on the hot summer days without having to travel all the way down the hill to the lake. Done and done.
Now I am on the hunt for a rental home to stay in while the build progresses. So many options to consider, but because I need a home that can house 3 cars and accepts 2 little pups…the choices narrow considerably. I have been lucky enough to find several homes that fit the criteria but they said ‘no pets’. Not being one to quit that easily I then sent out a picture of my littles, and all of them actually changed their mind and graciously said yes.
I will deeply miss my ‘moose crew’ at Shoreline, momma moose ‘Olive' in particular, but there is so much building going on now, the wildlife are slowly getting pushed out. Lucky for me they are spending more time on the other side of the lake….which is exactly where I’m headed.
There are challenges and sad moments when you decide to go ‘rogue’ in life. Through all the ups and downs, you have to be your own cheerleader, pushing through all of it to get what you want, or where you want to go. I can say without question….I am stronger today than I have ever been in my life.
I can stand on my own….as one…..and ‘git er done’ :)
When I feel nervous about the possibility of making bad decisions…or doubting my ability to succeed in all this… I curl up in bed and I thank God for the chance at another day. And sometimes I reach out and hold my own hand so it feels like I’m not alone.
Never …ever…. give up.
Don't measure your happiness by anyone else's.
Listen to your heart.
Trust your gut.
And unapologetically chase what inspires you.
But that’s just my opinion..:)
