April 2 2022
I think the most important lessons we learn as we go through life come from the most painful losses, and the most challenging moments we have dealt with.
Sometimes we feel the need to go back and ‘right a wrong’ after gaining a new perspective…..sometimes the best thing to do is never go back……and sometimes we simply process the path as it was, and use the lessons learned on the path that lies in front of us.
As I pack up the last of my things and prepare to put my home on the market, I decided to donate some of my furniture to the local church for their recovery homes. The pastor of the church stopped by to see how much furniture there was, and what size truck he would need. He had never been to my home before, but knew the area, and he remarked how beautiful it was. As he stood on the upper deck, taken in by the beautiful view of the river….he turned to me and said…’Are you sure you want to do this? Because this is really nice and where you’re moving to, isn't like this.” He said its beautiful over there too….but this was really beautiful. His comments gave me pause. Was I really sure I wanted to do this? Do I have everything I need right here and simply not see it?
The pastor knew of my affinity for moose but didn't know how smitten I really have become with them. I shared some moose videos and he was in disbelief at what I have been able to do with these amazing animals. He looked at me and said…’I get it now’.
We shared personal stories of how we each arrived at the place in life we are, and it helped him understand my need to move on and create something new.
I held on to this house for 4 years, thinking one day it would have grandchildren running up and down the stairs, and a beautiful family visiting for magical snowy Christmas’s, and summer vacations on the river.
However, in November of last year it became very clear to me that my vision was never going to be a reality. I finally let go. I realized I didn't want to wander around in a huge home being reminded every day what ‘didn't’ happen. And I embraced the challenge of making this next chapter reflect what fits…me. The more time I spent designing the new home, meeting my new neighbors, and realizing how full my heart felt at the thought of living in a private forest full of wildlife, stunning sunsets and a view of the lake that takes my breath away…the more committed I became.
Some people get together for dinner, go to a movie, or a local event and feel their life is complete. I wish it was that easy for me. I've never been content 'living on the surface'. Somehow I feel like I'm wasting my time.
I have this deep need to connect with a corner of the world that my heart recognizes. It doesn't feel isolating….it feels safe. It doesn't feel difficult…it feels purposeful.
Sometimes your life looks perfect in the eyes of others, but thats because its something they would like…something that would fit nicely in their journey. But that doesn't mean it fits yours.
We have a life we are blessed with, and what we do with that life is up to each of us. I realized by holding on to this house, I was holding on to a chapter in my life that had already closed.
I truly believe that what lies around the corner in this next chapter will be nothing short of magical.
Achieving synchronicity is the universe’s way of letting you know you are aligned.
Synchronicity has been defined as ‘an intervention of grace’.
And thats what my heart is chasing.
It's time to turn the page.
Wildlife, sunsets, seasons, and wine. Doesn't get much better than that.
But that's just my opinion.:)
