June 15 2023
It seems like it takes a lifetime to finally realize how many gifts we have been given in life, as well as how many gifts we have to give others.
Things can go horribly wrong and yet there is always a gift tucked away in there somewhere.
In these moments, we are also given grace.
Sometimes we use that grace for good……and sometimes we barnstorm right past it distracted by something else.
I’ve done both.
There is no sense in looking back pondering if you handled certain challenges with enough grace. Every minute spent in regret is one less minute we have to move forward with. Move forward and make a difference with the things you are able to, with the new insight you have been given.
Take on a challenge you might have otherwise shied away from.
Be brutally honest with yourself and work extra hard to change the traits that sometimes tarnish your shine.
For me… it’s every time I catch myself saying something and I immediately think…’Oh my gosh I just sounded like my mother’..:)
I have worked very hard to be aware of those moments…but genetics sometimes beat me to the punch. Sadly my relationship with my mother isn't a healthy one and she isn't someone I can have in my life. Sometimes healthy choices hurt, but those choices also bring about an offering of grace.
Grace for me was walking away. No more screaming matches or trying to be seen or understood. No more blaming, and shaming and feeling small. The first step out the door is the most difficult, but as time goes on, the cycle breaks….and the healing begins.
I gave grace in allowing the relationship to dissolve without any more hurtful words being spoken. It wasn't going to come from her so it had to come from me.
The gift I received from going through all that pain was the realization of my inner strength and resilience to continue on. And now…..from my heart…. I am able to thank her for that gift.
I have had to do this with several relationships in my life. Being able to arrive at a place where you can ‘thank’ the very people who have hurt you the most is very empowering. The strength you gain by surviving the pain they brought to your heart, brings beautiful surprises that are realized over time.
It brings humility…..it brings gratitude….and it brings grace.
You will find yourself smiling at the most subtle moments, and tearing up at times that never moved you before.
The part of you that sat in the shadows waiting to be seen….waiting to be appreciated…..is finally standing in the sun. And the smile comes from the realization that you had the power all along. The choices you make rest solely in your heart.
Love yourself enough to make healthy choices.
But that’s just my opinion. :)
